I am a dance of stars

In my quest to reach out to Lady Frigga, I turned to trancework, divination, and more esoteric means than scholarly research. I craved that connection, that strong hit of Divinity. I wasn’t sure where to start, though, or how. Meditation seemed more difficult than ever and I was lost. Chase introduced me to her friend Brooke who does amazing bibliomancy readings.

I asked her how I could best improve my trancework. Her reading (which was beautiful) told me to look to my ancestors and Odin. I decided that this was an excellent plan and I would get to Odin after I spent some time working on my family tree. He decided that He would just pull back the curtain of the world while I was trying to study and let me gaze into the gearworks of the world.

That feeling started Thursday night and has not left me yet. I’ve been analyzing myself and pulling apart bits and pieces of my brain, and I’ve learned so many things about myself and what I need to be doing.

It’s all tied together– the Death Cafe was the final puzzle piece. Death is endemic to Life. Without Death, there would cease to be any Life at all. Death is the cleansing fire on the mountainside. It is the hurricane that rips apart the coastline, the crumbling cliff face and the tumbledown village.

Any act of Life is the process of maintaining Order in the face of entropy. A temporary reversal in the Chaotic nature of the universe. Life will always seek to propagate itself, to spread Order across everything. It will eventually find that there is nowhere else for Life to go. With nothing left to Order, everything becomes still and cold– nothingness.

Death fights this impulse toward the frozen stilldeath of the universe by introducing Chaos and disorder into the system. If Death goes too far, though, we face the entropic heat death of utter Chaos, where there exists no Order to create new Order.

This is paralleled in my life right now– for too long I’ve leaned too heavily on external systems, because when I was young I had no way to form my internal structure. Now I’ve healed enough to begin that process, but these old calcified systems are crushing me in place.

It’s time to introduce a little Chaos into my life. Slowly, a little at a time, to avoid destroying every trace of Order around me. It’s time to take a sledgehammer to these systems that have held me in place for decades now so that I may grow and flourish once more.

Death and Life exist in playful, cooperative competition.. the greatest “yes, and..” in existence.

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Frigga devotee, Dedicant of Ar nDraiocht Fein

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