July has not been the month I’d hoped it would be. I had stacks of books to read, I was finishing microbiology and moving on to organic chemistry, and my husband was going to be living with me for three whole weeks.
The books remain unread, organic chemistry has been a nightmare, and the time spent with my husband was fraught with anxiety and confusion because it turns out that living separately for over a year alters your ability to function as a couple in a small space under pressure.
This month’s theme was Balance. I thought perhaps it was referring to my deities, figuring out how to honor Them all equally. This unpleasant intrusion of what I will flippantly call “the Real World” into my plans has served as an excellent reminder to turn outwards from time to time.
I’ve been cocooned up for a year or so now– experiencing new things and going places, but mostly inhabiting my own mind. I’ve been like a recovered hoarder, shuffling through boxes of old newspapers and finally making the decision to throw out a lot of unwanted junk. This has been important, satisfying work that will continue, but I need to balance that against my real-world concerns and obligations.
August is Message. At the time, I had no idea what that could mean and asked for clarification: Travel, Voice, Guide.
My mind races ahead of the individual images to their combined meaning and it becomes hard for me to untangle which led to which. Perhaps I will meet someone who will lead me into the outside world to continue my growth. I suspect Travel has less to do with leaving the local area and more to do with moving from the cocoon to the butterfly stage.
I think August is going to be a challenging month and it makes me excited. I feel ready to expand and conquer.